Movie Reviews
Halo Legends
Mar 16th
Queue the epic music!
Halo Legends is a movie that shows what happens outside of the videos games themselves. There are eight individual stories. Each one is more unique than the last. Every story is animated by a different world leading animator from Japan. Some are CG, some are anime, and one is a strange type of anime with a crazy filter on top of it trying to give it an old samurai feel.
Each story is unique in it’s own way, but at one point you will see something that will make your jaw drop in amazement at what they have just done. One story features a spartan known as Spartan 1337. Now at this point I knew it was going to be stupid. S1337 falls out of a Pelican into a world that seems a little prehistoric. It turns out to be a mix of Dragon Ball with Halo and it felt at that point that they were just crossing the line. Due to the length of this story and all the others, I will not go into anymore detail as it would ruin it.
The animators seems to have liked the idea of a female spartan as there is at least three in this entire collaboration. They are very badass and I like the sense of a female spartan just to show that it isn’t only for males.
The first two stories that you will watch are the origins of the Halo universe. Cortana narrates both of them and it explains the history between the Forerunners and The Flood. It is a very well told story and it kept me interested the whole way through.
You may find that this collaboration of stories have some really dumb, funny, serious, and just downright awesome moments in them. As much as I liked some of them, I hated others. One of them features the Arbiter in a village in samurai clothing. He has a wife and I didn’t even know there existed female Elites. Nothing in it is explained at all and there is a god awful filter over the entire thing. The one about Spartan 1337 also lost my interest as I don’t see Halo being a comedy in anyway whatsoever. The only thing I found interesting about it is someone that they claim to be “Mother.”
The special features are interesting but there aren’t that many to choose from. I enjoyed this movie as I did buy it on Blu-ray and did get to enjoy the amazing quality of the animations. It’s 119 minutes in length and I’m not so sure if I’ll find myself coming back to watch this that much. I recommend this movie as a rent and not a buy. If you insist on purchasing this movie if you are a Halo fan such as myself, then try Wal-Mart or an online store as they seem to have the cheaper prices.
Interesting stories, dumb stories, and amazing stories. Not many reasons to rewatch, but it has it’s moments. Halo Legends is probably only for the hardcore fans, and the final verdict is:
Movies With Mano: Law Abiding Citizen
Mar 3rd
Imagine losing everything you love. Imagine watching your wife and kid killed before your very eyes. Imagine learning that one of the two men involved in the murder is going to walk free. Would you just accept the justice system’s decision, or would you want blood?
Gary Gray returns to the director’s chair after a 4 year vacation with Law Abiding Citizen, an emotional yet action packed flick that’s guaranteed to get your blood pumping. With an amazing cast of familiar faces such as Gerard Butler, Jamie Foxx, Leslie Bib, Bruce McGill, and Regina Hall, Law Abiding Citizen appears on the surface as an amazing flick. But the surface seems to lie when it comes to Hollywood’s expensive flicks. The question is raised in the mind of most movie goers, “Will this movie be worth my money?”
Clyde Shelton (Gerard Butler) is a brilliant planner and inventor. One night two robbers invade his Philadelphia home and brutally kill his wife and daughter, and almost kill him. The killers are caught, and Assistant DA Nick Rice (Jamie Foxx) is assigned the case. Nick is ordered by the DA to make a deal with one of the killers to testify against his partner for a 10 year plea bargain prison sentence. Clyde doesn’t want Nick to make the deal, but Nick says it was too late and the deal is done. The other killer got the death penalty. After 10 years, the other killer is released from prison, and he soon ends up dead. Clyde is arrested and kind of admits to Nick that he did it. Clyde is put in jail, and he warns Nick that he must fix the broken justice system that failed him and his family or else anyone connected to his case will soon die. Even from jail, Clyde’s threats become a reality, and Nick must stop Clyde before his family is next. (imdb.com)
This movie is one that could have taken a wrong turn numerous times down its production road. The biggest flaw could have easily been the acting; however, Butler and Foxx make a perfect team of good guy bad guy in this flick. Foxx’s role as the determined assistant DA is perfect, he’s smart, witty, and will do anything to protect his family. Butler’s had the practice to play a murderer, and it really shows in his execution of Shelton in this movie. The acting is near flawless, and the only complaint that comes to mind is Butler’s constant sneer.
The plot is strong. On the surface it seems shoddy, but in execution, the work is brilliant. While Kurt Wimmer’s history in the movie business is nowhere near good, there’s a possibility that his role in writing the screenplay for Law Abiding Citizen may turn his career around. The characters were in depth and developed perfectly throughout the course of the movie, the action was tight and the story moved at a speed that kept the audience interested. This is one of those movies with a target audience of men who don’t like depth, and while the story lacked depth, it was thoroughly enjoyable.
Law Abiding Citizen is a perfect example of the modern day action flick. Filled with plenty of blood, gore, and explosions, the movie really hits its target audience. Foxx and Butler’s work together was perfect, and the script was smooth. Regina Hall, Bruce McGill, and Leslie Bibb fill their supporting roles impressively, and aided greatly in this movie’s outcome. Unfortunately, no movie’s perfect. The cinematography is really complicated at moments, and some actions performed throughout the movie are simply unbelievable. This movie really makes for mindless entertainment.
4.5/5
Movies with Mano: Monsturd
Dec 29th
I’ve made December a type of unofficial horror movie review month. So, while writing this Monsturd review, I decided that it would be awesome if during this final week of December, I decided to give you one last article on horror flicks while we head into 2010, with my 10 favorite horror flicks of all time. This is set to be published on New Year’s Eve so keep an eye out. Without further ado, though…I give you the review of the no-budget 4321 Productions introduction: Monsturd.
What do you get when you combine two guys, a movie pitch about a killer piece of feces, and an endless supply of crap jokes and puns? What happens when you give this movie no money backing? Well, first of all, you get a movie which could primarily end up as its beast does at the end of the flick. However, does Monsturd deliver where other horror movies have failed? Read this review to find out.
Filmed in a course of two years by writer/directors Dan West and Rick Popko, Monsturd stands out from the masses of other horror movies that the audience has encountered in the past. Where really horrible movies try to take a serious approach with their off the wall creatures, Monsturd knows that it’s going to end up being a joke horror flick, and embraces the nature. Opening with a scene filled with rain, a doll house, and toy truck intended to be our storyteller’s humble abode, the audience is given prior knowledge that the movie had little to no budget backing. By the end of the movie, it seems that this could be easily mistaken as a college student’s final for a film class.
However, with no budget and a free cast, Monsturd delivers really well. With a somewhat comedic story and pun-filled script, the movie progresses through its eighty minutes quite well. At some points, the audience will question why they’re wasting their time with a movie about killer dookie and want to turn it off, but the comical seriousness of the film will have them captivated until the end credits roll.
So what about the story? Monsturd surrounds a serial killer named Jack Schmidt (played by Brad Dosland) who escapes prison and is chased into the sewer, only to fall into Dr. Stern’s strange acid that was dumped only a few hours before. Jack is seemingly disintegrated and left for dead by the police. However, there were particles of feces in the acid which bonded with Schmidt’s DNA to make a giant killer number 2. The story gets more farfetched from there, going through some mediocre character developments and comical situations, and leading to a hilarious final confrontation between the people of Butte County and our killer colon cannonball.
Though the film has no financial backing or acting talent, and West and Popko have no cinematic experience, Monsturd delivers as a comedic effort. Unfortunately, if you’re not someone who can sit through a poorly made movie and have the patience to appreciate what was put into the flick, this movie wouldn’t be recommended. In fact, if you aren’t a film student, I wouldn’t recommend this movie to you. However, this isn’t about what you’ll think of the flick.
So, in closing, I give Monsturd 7 black bananas out of 10.
Final Verdict:
7/10
Movies With Mano: Joy Ride 2
Dec 20th
In 2001, Clay Tarver and J.J. Abrams teamed up with John Dahl to invent a monumental horror flick. Starring Steve Zahn, Paul Walker, and the beautiful Leelee Sobieski, Joy Ride took off, and set itself as one of the last amazing horror movies to be made. Unfortunately, every horror movie has a potential sequel. Joy Ride was no different. In 2008, Bats director Louis Morneau teamed up with James Robert Johnston and Bennett Yellin to bring Rusty Nail, our antagonizing trucker back to life.
There are many things I can say about this movie that I say about a lot of other horror movies. Fortunately for Morneau and crew, it would not be that this one is a waste of time, although I can’t say the movie was much more than mediocre. The script was well done, and the cinematography was far from disappointing. The direction itself was amazing with the budget that the crew was given. However, these things are only the foundation of a movie; the real test is in the execution.
Nicki Aycox picks up the role of Melissa, a young woman thrown into a horrible situation after her fiancé, Bobby (played by Nick Zano) is kidnapped by trucker Rusty Nail (portrayed by Mark Gibbon). Together, Melissa, her sister Kayla (Laura Jordan) and Kayla’s MySpace lover Nik (Kyle Schmid) must complete objectives given by the seemingly omnipotent trucker in hopes of saving Bobby.
The story pans out really nice, flowing smoothly and keeping the attention of the viewer. However, fans of the horror genre in general will find themselves staring down clichés from numerous other films, and will be guessing the progression of the story with ease about the time the one hour mark rolls around. As I said, the story is good, however, Johnston and Yellin went way off course with this movie. Where the majority of Joy Ride (Roadkill in some countries) took place with full speed, adrenaline-inducing car chase scenes, its sequel moves slower, and the only scene that catches the predecessor’s feel is incredibly short.
The character development in the film is good in some aspects. We begin to see an evil side to Melissa as the story unfolds, and our bad boy Nik begins to crumble near the end of the film. Unfortunately, for fans of Joy Ride, Rusty Nail has changed. There are scenes where he goes as far as torturing two of our main characters, where in the previous film, he had a Lecterian character about him, making it all a game. This literally killed the movie for me, and is bad on our script writers, who should have taken the mentality of our antagonist into mind when thinking of scenes like this.
Overall, Joy Ride 2 is a film worth watching on a rainy day. The casting was superb, the story itself unfolded well and was easy to watch, and the cinematography was up there with some of the better movies of this decade. Unfortunately, its lack of closure and character development stunts what could possibly be an unbelievable film. This movie isn’t a waste of time, but I’d suggest saving it for a rainy day.
The Verdict:
5/10
Mano at the Movies: Year One
Jun 21st
Year One
Starring: Jack Black, Michael Cera
Rating: PG-13
Year One is the newest comedy to hit the big screen. Once more, Harold Ramis returns to a writer/director position in hopes to, once more, regain the status he lost since his 2000 hit, Bedazzled. The movie follows the story of two socially inept cavemen who adventure through wacky, unbelievable scenarios in hopes to make a name for themselves. Through their travels, they encounter numerous notable characters of Christian history such as Cain and Abel, Father Abraham and his son, Isaac, before finally reaching the final destination of the movie, Sodom.
Now, it’s been years since I’ve watched a movie that forced me to check my phone for the time in hopes that the end would be coming soon. This was possibly caused by the lack of a coherent plot or the progression of the story through fart and penis jokes. All of the scenes that made me laugh were found in the trailer, and anything that brought a smirk to my face was no more funny than that Dane Cook joke that’s been recited 500 times in the past 4 days during lunchroom conversation.
The casting, scene selection, and time period had a great set up with numerous oppurtunites to have the crowd rolling with laughter, but they weren’t capitalized upon, and thus forced the movie to flop. Even a cameo from Kyle Gass couldn’t save this flick from the drain.
Final Verdict:
Year One is a mindless comedy for those who gain easy laughs from mediocre attempts at useless fart and genital jokes. Fans of Black, Cera, and Ramis movies of the past should skip this one in hopes of remaining fans of the three. The movie is a waste of two hours and would be better spent staying at home and grinding a cheese grater across your forehead. If you’re looking for something to make you roll on the floor laughing, your money is better spent on The Hangover. So with all this said, I do not regret giving Year One the final grade of:
2/10
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